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| holy fuck. this christmass break was fucking sweet as hell, but the day after it all is over my mom fucking goes psycho on me. then fucking my brother goes and fucking goes threw my fucking journal in my room, fucking takes shit out of my room, and fucking goes threw my coat and takes my ciggerettes and breaks them, and when i tryed to get them from him he fucking punches me in the fucking head. i fucking hate this so much, and i fucking want to leave here so bad, and i can, but theres one thing stopping me. i fucking hate this family. my mom fucking expects so much from me and she fucking favors john like hes a saint, meanwhile hes trying to act like my father cause he thinks hes the man of the house, and i fucking hate him so much. i would laugh if he were to get into the trouble ive been in, hed fucking go insane if he couldnt talk to his beloved ashley for five seconds. i fucking feel so alone in this family. my grandparents are dyeing and living in an imaginary world were everything is perfect, my mom fucking takes all her anger out on me cause im the "fuck up" in the family, my brother acts like hes such a good person, and my dad has a whole other family. he loves them. like i wish i could have a relationship with my brother and be able to talk to him, but i cant cause he judges me so much. my dad doesnt really care about me, he just plays it off like he does, and my mom, fuck her. i fucking hate her so much, i fucking wish they would all fucking just leave me alone. thats what would make me happy again. if my family would all just go and fuck themslevs and leave me and my life the hell alone. it just seems like everything was so perfect when i was a kid, but then when my dad left it all went to shit, then to top it off he trys to come crawling back and pick up were we left off, but you dont just do that. you cant forget whats happend to you in your life that eaisly. and he asks me everytime i see him if were"ok" and of course im going to say yes, beacause i have guilt issues, but the truth is, we will never be ok. nothing will ever be the way they were, nothing will ever be ok. | | |
| "Me"
I hear you talk about your family life
I wish I knew just what that means
I guess my mother never loved my dad
And now I wear it on my sleeve
My sister called me just the other day
It felt so good to hear her voice
My problem is I don't have much to say
I guess she doesn't have a choice, and I'm sorry
Look at me I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself, save me from my...
My mothers always tried to change herself
She never learned to let things be
She doesn't know how bad she messed me up
'Cause now she seems so fake to me but I love her
Look at me I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself, save me from myself
If you push me then I won't fall
I've been programmed to take it all
And shove it way down inside
Like my father [2x]
I'm so pathetic
I can't believe I'm just an addict
I've never needed anyone to help me (I'm failing it)
I'm begging you to please come save me from myself
I hear you talk about your family life
I wish I knew just what that means | | |
| korn
tearjerker:
Well I wish there was someone
Well I wish there was someone to love me
When I used to be someone
and I knew there was someone that loved me
as I sit here frozen alone
even ghosts get tired and go home
as they crawl back under the stones
And I wish there was something
please tell me there's something better
and I wish there was something more than this
Saturated loneliness
and I wish I could feel it
and I wish I could steal it
abduct it, corrupt it
but I never can, it's just
Saturated loneliness
Does the silence get lonely
Does the silence get lonely
Who knows?
I've been hearing it tell me
I've been hearing it tell me, "go home"
cuz the freaks are playing tonight
they packed up and turned off the lights
And I wish there was something
please tell me theres something better
and I wish there was something more than this
Saturated loneliness
and I wish I could feel it
and I wish I could steal it
abduct it, corrupt it
but I never can, it's just saturated loneliness
and the bathwaters cold
and this life's getting old
and I wish I could feel it
and I wish I could feel it
and I wish I could steal it
abduct it, corrupt it
and I wish I could feel it
and I wish I could steal it
and I wish I could feel it
abduct it, corrupt it
but I never can,
I never can
never can
never can
never can | | |
| so i got a new cd, taylor burned it for me. i love it.
but anyways, WORK IS OVER! and im not doing it next year. i got into alot of trouble. im grounded for god knows how long, but somehow im aloud to go to homecomeing? so yea ill be there.
i hate people, i love my dog. im sick of everything right now, but ill somehow manage to get over it. dont know how, but i will.
today i came home from school went for a walk and went to taylors, we chilled in his room and watched napolean dynomite. then i came home and my mom took me shopping. so there you have it.
i love josh as well. very much. | | |
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